TBTTSP - Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Zhang Xu Has No Story (5)

This was the second week my desk mate had been ignoring me. The dividing line between us had grown thick and wide, so I requested to move back to the corner.

I couldn't care less.

Shang Yi severely criticized me for this. When she took over in the afternoon, she found herself in the very last row of the class, next to the trash heap again.

Two lines of sharp, chiseled handwriting appeared in the notebook:

This is the last time. Apologize.

My cold war with Li Zhaodi seemed to have made her very unhappy. If Li Zhaodi knew that I wasn't really me, she might have treated the situation differently.

I had to go and test the waters.

When class ended, Li Zhaodi was at her desk studying. The moment I walked over, she was like a startled bird, ruffling all her feathers before stumbling away.

After that, whenever I tried to find her, she was like some kind of elusive spirit, always managing to vanish without a trace.

I mean, what kind of person is she? I couldn't even find her to apologize. How is that my fault?

Li Zhaodi was a tough nut to crack. I was at a loss, so I left a message: She's avoiding me.

Shang Yi's reply: Serves you right.

Look at her. She didn't even offer a solution.

But I had to solve this myself one way or another.

I was terrified of Shang Yi getting angry. It felt a bit like being afraid of my dad's temper. When my dad got angry, he'd tie me to a tree and whip me with a belt, not stopping until I was howling and screaming that I'd never do it again.

And Shang Yi, though different from my dad, achieved the same result. With just a few words, she produced the same stinging effect as a leather belt. She never said what would happen if I didn't apologize, but it was this invisible, perhaps non-existent, punishment that truly terrified me. The fact that she could force me to apologize with a single line of text made me think she was scary. But after thinking about it at home for a long time, I realized this feeling might be respect.

I respected Shang Yi, so I respected her stance on the matter.

Shang Yi was truly a great parent figure. She taught me handwriting and pushed me to improve myself. I didn't deserve someone so good. I was still just goofing off every day, messing around with boys, and squandering the money my parents left behind to treat others, like a total spendthrift.

Once I started thinking about it from Shang Yi's perspective, I began to understand why my desk mate was angry.

What parent would be happy about their daughter messing around with boys and spending her money to treat them? Besides, it's not like I came from a wealthy family. I was spending the money my parents had paid for with their lives.

And on top of that, this kid had told her parent, "Stay out of my business!"

I deserved a whipping with a belt.

With that thought, it was like a sudden enlightenment, as if an old monk had blessed my head and cleared my mind.

After this epiphany, I sincerely penned a letter. For characters I didn't know, I didn't substitute pinyin; instead, I took out Xu Wanqing's dictionary to look them up.

The wording was earnest, the emotions sincere—or so I thought.

But remembering how she'd rejected my last note, I didn't dare give it to my desk mate directly. I folded it twice, placed it in the notebook, and asked Shang Yi to review it for me.

It felt a bit like asking a parent to check my homework.

Sensing this subtle dynamic, I added Xu Wanqing's name after Shang Yi's.

Her name was really hard to write, but once I did, I felt I was being quite fair, treating them both equally.

Xu Wanqing commented: So that was the cause of it all!

...Even though I'd written it like a self-criticism, I hadn't laid out the entire cause and effect like a story. Xu Wanqing's comment made her sound like she was just watching a play. I shouldn't have added her name in the first place.

Shang Yi was even more direct: Delete the circled parts. The underlined ones are incorrectly written characters.

She was a direct person, but she had her tactful side. For instance, in the notebook, she only wrote things that Xu Wanqing could see, maintaining a polite and harmonious atmosphere.

But behind the scenes, she and Xu Wanqing might have been in conflict.

Shang Yi had arrived earlier, so she was more familiar with my situation. Behind the photo of me and my parents in its frame, there was another layer—a picture of a pretty girl torn from a calendar—and behind that, a piece of newspaper. I'd watched too many TV dramas and liked to hide little notes in there.

Back when I had my first crush, I wrote: I like so-and-so. That was at my old school, and so-and-so never even gave me the time of day.

And when my dad beat me, I wrote a note cursing him: I hope Dad dies before Mom. I hope Mom lives to be a hundred.

Then they died on the same day, of the same month, in the same year. When that happened, I found the note and tore it up, convinced it was the result of my curse.

I wrote while I cried, burying all my secrets there. I rarely touched it except to add new notes; it was my secret hideout. But Shang Yi was incredibly perceptive; her sharp eyes saw right through it.

When I wrote a note that said, Our principal might be a pervert, and tucked it inside, I found Shang Yi's first new note:

Don't be sad.

So that spot became a secret hideout for me and Shang Yi. Even though she had only written that one sentence, she was the only one who knew about it.

That day, I added a new note: Li Zhaodi really holds a grudge. People who are good at studying are probably all vengeful.

A new note from Shang Yi left me completely baffled:

In the cardboard box next to the cabinet in the main room, there's half a kite. Burn it. No rush.

Burn this note when you're done. Don't tell Xu Wanqing.

"No rush" was right. If it were urgent, she wouldn't have hidden the note in a picture frame I might not open again for ages.

But I was anxious. Were she and Xu Wanqing fighting? Was she trying to solve my problems before she'd even sorted out her own? I had to have a good laugh at her expense.

Sure enough, there was a kite in the cardboard box. It was a common swallow design, perfect for flying in the spring breeze.

I studied it for a moment. The kite looked familiar.

It looked like a kite from a period drama. Looking closer, I saw a line of elegant, small characters at the bottom.

You toss me a quince, I give you fine jade. Not as repayment, but as a token of eternal goodwill.

I couldn't understand it.

Whatever.

I grabbed a lighter, went outside, and burned the note along with the cardboard box.

It was getting dark, and the flames in the courtyard were glaringly obvious.

Suddenly, the gate was kicked open.

My desk mate stood in the doorway, staring at me in a daze.

I don't know how long she'd been standing there, but she must have rushed in as soon as she saw the fire in my courtyard.

Immediately, she lunged forward and stomped out the fire. "Are you crazy?"

I shook my head.

The trampled kite under her foot burned out its last spark. The swallow was nothing but half a charcoal tail. Half of the cardboard box was left; it was thick and slow-burning, and had protected most of the kite. I really should have burned the kite first, then torn up the box and thrown it in the stove.

My desk mate picked up the remains of the swallow and gazed at it affectionately, as if they shared some deep bond.

"Is this what you were making yesterday?"

Yesterday?

Shang Yi wouldn't have me burn something she made herself. That meant she had me burn... a kite made by Xu Wanqing's own hands!

Had the two of them had a falling out?

When I didn't answer, my desk mate read aloud the line I couldn't understand, then burst into angry tears.

I figured it couldn't be anything good. Shang Yi and Xu Wanqing must have had a huge fight for Xu Wanqing to make a kite by hand and write a poem cursing her, and for Shang Yi to retaliate by having me set it on fire, turning all her work to ash.

What a bitter feud!

But my desk mate was crying. I was much older than her, and it didn't feel right to just stand there and watch her cry. So, I took out my crumpled apology letter and handed it to her.

This time, she took it. She read it carefully, and her usual proud, spoiled expression returned. "I don't have a desk mate right now," she said. "I'm the best student in our class. Everyone wants to sit with me."

Then why have you been sitting by yourself in the front row for so long?

"But," she continued, "I don't want to sit with any of the boys. They're all too childish. You—"

I caught her drift and quickly asked, "Can I be your desk mate?"

A childish, triumphant smile spread across her face. "You'll have to pass a test for that. I have an examination process, like the old imperial exams. Only the top scholar gets to be my desk mate."

I didn't know what "imperial exams" were, but I knew what a "top scholar" was.

"Oh. In that case, I'll get first place on the final exam."

With Shang Yi around, I could make such a bold promise without batting an eye.

"No way! I'm the only one who can be number one!"

"Oh, okay. Then how do I—"

"Tomorrow! Whoever gets to school first tomorrow will be the top scholar."

But what happened the next day wasn't up to me. I had no idea when Xu Wanqing would wake up. I explained the situation in the notebook and fell into an uneasy sleep.

The first person to arrive at school the next day was a boy from our class, skinny as a monkey, who was never, ever early. His older sister was getting married, so he'd gone to the neighboring county for the banquet and had only just gotten back that morning, getting dropped off directly at school.

Xu Wanqing wrote in the notebook:

Miss Zhang Xu,
My sincerest apologies. Things were quite tumultuous this morning. Miss Zhaodi, in her usual bold manner, chased our classmate, Young Master Liu, once around the school grounds as he begged for mercy. Though I saw the note you left, your handwriting is most peculiar, and I could not recognize many of the characters. By the time I managed to decipher it, Miss Zhaodi was already upset again.

Shang Yi wrote:

It's handled.

As expected, Shang Yi was more reliable.

Her short reply put me completely at ease.

By then, I was already sitting in the front row of the class, eating chalk dust. Next to me, my desk mate's schoolbag was stuffed full of snacks that Shang Yi had bought for her.

If Shang Yi and Xu Wanqing ever got into a fight, I would definitely be on Shang Yi's side.

Remembering the half-burned kite, I glossed over that detail when I wrote in the notebook, giving my apology letter all the credit for Li Zhaodi's change of heart.

I stuffed the other half of the kite into the stove and burned it to ashes. With this act, I pledged my allegiance, showing I was of one mind with Shang Yi.

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