TGSS - Chapter 51

Chapter 51: I Will Die

Chu He carried Liang Zhouyi on her back for a long stretch of mountain road. By the time they reached the foot of the mountain, her arms were trembling involuntarily, but as soon as they returned to the hotel, Liang Zhouyi, whose foot had not yet healed, began packing with a tight expression. Chu He wiped away sweat and stood where she was with a bitter smile: "What are you doing now?"

"I am going back to H City right now." Liang Zhouyi's gaze was light, as calm as ever.

Chu He's fair fingertips had just come to rest on her brow. She brushed the beads of sweat gathered on her dark brows, and a deep weariness appeared on her sharply defined face. After a moment of silence she tried to dissuade her: "Zhou Yi, can't you just listen to me this once?"

"Chu He." Liang Zhouyi paused in what she was doing, as if she found Chu He in this moment utterly unfamiliar. "If I listen to you, do you expect me to just wait idly like you? Are you really so... pessimistic, or is it that you actually do not care whether you leave me or not, so you will not even try to fight for it?"

Chu He did not argue. She leaned against the chair with her legs crossed, her eyes slightly moist: "How do you know I have not tried?"

"Fine, then tell me what exactly you have done."

"Liang Zhouyi, you have to understand that there are things in this world that effort alone cannot achieve. Do you now understand why I ran from my feelings for you back then and insisted on being just friends? If the ending is already fixed, we should seize the moment and cherish the time we have, instead of putting up a futile resistance. It is precisely because I did not want to see you like this that I kept it from you!"

Liang Zhouyi's lashes trembled. Chu He's twisted logic left her angry. It was as if she were telling a terminally ill patient not to seek treatment but to wait for death. So she stopped paying attention to Chu He. Disappointment left her exhausted, too tired to argue with Chu He any further.

Chu He bit her lip so hard it looked about to bleed. She raised her hand and looked at her palm. Her arm was still trembling slightly. She clenched her fist and grasped at empty air.

When Liang Zhouyi picked up her camera, it was as if something had occurred to her. A faint curve tugged at her lips as she asked Chu He: "If I had not picked this thing up, if I were still like I was before, would you have stayed to help me and not left?"

Chu He gave a cold scoff at that. She straightened up and snatched the camera away, her voice flat: "So what are you trying to say? That you regret becoming like this, that you think that lifeless version of you before was better? Then let me tell you, I would never have liked you like that. I would only have looked down on you."

At this moment the two of them were like two hedgehogs. Clearly in love and desperate to draw close to each other, yet unable to stop themselves from stabbing each other all over with their own quills.

Liang Zhouyi's head grew hot at her words. She let out a cold laugh and began to speak without restraint: "Yes, it is perfectly normal for you to look down on me. Who have you, Chu He, ever thought highly of? Even the me I am now probably counts for nothing in your eyes."

A faint, flickering suspicion and doubt began to surface, making it impossible for Liang Zhouyi to think calmly. She yanked the suitcase zipper shut and slammed the case onto the floor. She took the camera back and slung it over herself, pressed her pale lips together with a hint of anger, and asked Chu He coldly: "Are you coming or not?"

Chu He said each word deliberately: "Of course I am coming! If you leave, what would I stay here for? A vacation?"

Liang Zhouyi glanced at her quickly, her whole body taut like a drawn bow. Only when she heard Chu He's answer did she quietly let out a breath.

---

When they returned to H City again, Chu He felt as if a lifetime had passed. By her original plan, she would not have set foot here again before leaving for good. She had not expected to be back in just a few days.

She followed Liang Zhouyi with her suitcase, intending to return to her residence. Just as Liang Zhouyi was about to open the door, Chu He seemed to receive some kind of message. She froze for a moment, stepped forward, grabbed Liang Zhouyi's arm, and shook her head: "Do not go in."

Liang Zhouyi looked at her strangely, only to find that her fingerprint would not unlock the door. So with trembling fingers she entered the password, and the display showed an incorrect password. She panicked for an instant. Thinking that Chu He had been with her the whole time these past few days, who else could have changed the password? A possibility she did not want to consider made her heart pound wildly.

Liang Zhouyi's eyes were rimmed with red. She stood stubbornly before the door, entering the password again and again. That string of numbers she knew by heart kept magnifying in her mind until it left her dizzy.

"Click."

The door opened. A smile had just begun to appear on Liang Zhouyi's pale face, and before it could fully form she came face to face with Chen Xinluo's calm expression.

"Zhou Yi?" A clear flicker of surprise crossed Chen Xinluo's eyes when she saw who it was and the suitcase beside her. Peering past her and noticing Chu He behind Liang Zhouyi, she gave a slight nod as well.

"Why are you here?" Liang Zhouyi's mind went blank for an instant. Then, thinking of how Chen Xinluo had addressed her, a strange feeling rose in her chest. Chen Xinluo had always been lukewarm toward her. For a former employee like her, that "Zhou Yi" seemed overly intimate.

Chen Xinluo crossed her arms lazily and, faced with Liang Zhouyi's questioning, only frowned slightly: "This is my home. Where else should I be?"

Liang Zhouyi felt her eyelids twitch hard at those words. She could not help repeating: "Your home? You say this is your home?"

How could that be?

"Yes, Zhou Yi, what are you talking about? You have been to my place before." Chen Xinluo looked utterly baffled by her questioning tone. After saying that, she clearly sensed something was off with Liang Zhouyi's emotions, so she soothed her, "Come in first. Whatever it is, we can talk slowly."

Chen Xinluo could not help feeling a little worried. She shifted to one side to let Liang Zhouyi in.

Liang Zhouyi did not stand on ceremony. Her face was pale and her leg had not yet fully healed, but her strikingly bright eyes swept the interior without restraint. It was different. The layout here was completely different from what she had seen just days ago! Whether it was the furnishings or the overall structure, everything was vastly changed. She seemed unable to bear this information. Bewilderment and fear made her pupils lose focus for an instant.

No human effort could have altered this place so quickly and so thoroughly. This place was now filled with traces of another person's life. Then where were the traces that should have belonged to Chu He?

"How do you have time to come see me today?" Chen Xinluo asked. Though puzzled, her tone carried an unmistakable familiarity.

A huge sense of absurdity enveloped Liang Zhouyi. Countless questions crowded her mind, yet she did not know how to voice them. In the end she only gazed at Chen Xinluo and asked flatly: "When did you start living here?"

"A few months now."

Chen Xinluo seemed not to have expected Liang Zhouyi's focus to be there. She glanced around. "Not bad, right, this renovation? I had a team specially design it."

She had thought Liang Zhouyi was interested in the apartment, but when she took the initiative to talk about it, Liang Zhouyi looked dazed and distracted. So Chen Xinluo steered the topic to Chu He: "And who is this?"

Liang Zhouyi seemed to only just hear the question. The information in it filled her with even greater despair. Her fingers trembled as she was about to speak, but Chu He quickly pressed the back of her hand and answered first: "Hello, my name is Chu He. I am Zhou Yi's girlfriend."

"Hello, Chen Xinluo." Chen Xinluo gave Liang Zhouyi a teasing look. "No wonder. With such a beautiful girlfriend, of course you would keep her hidden. You did not reveal a thing. Though this surname is the same as my boyfriend's. It should be considered rare."

"Is that so?" Chu He smiled. "Then we are fated."

Liang Zhouyi suddenly realized she must be talking about Chu Ze. She asked abruptly: "Your boyfriend... does he have a younger sister?"

"Huh?" Chen Xinluo raised an eyebrow. She felt that Liang Zhouyi at this moment looked like someone clutching at a last straw, pitiful beyond words. She shook her head. "As far as I know, he should not." On the surface, no. As for those family secrets, she had no way of knowing.

"I see..." Liang Zhouyi's eyes dimmed instantly. She asked, "Then could you give me his contact information?"

Chu He could not help coughing. She saw Chen Xinluo's expression was already turning strange. To rush into someone's home and ask for her boyfriend's contact information was indeed a bit out of line.

"Sure." True to form, no matter how many thoughts were winding through her mind, Chen Xinluo agreed readily. She rarely made a situation unpleasant face-to-face. Although she was completely baffled by Liang Zhouyi's behavior at this moment, in the end it was just a small favor.

"Thank you." Liang Zhouyi noted down the string of numbers and finally smiled at Chen Xinluo.

"You are welcome." Chen Xinluo hesitated for a moment before patting Liang Zhouyi on the shoulder. "Although I do not know what difficulty you have run into, Zhou Yi, you can come to me for anything. The company also welcomes you back anytime."

Liang Zhouyi nodded perfunctorily. She did not understand where Chen Xinluo's inexplicable kindness came from. She did not feel flattered by it, only found it especially ironic, because none of this was what she needed at all.

When Chen Xinluo closed the door, she met Liang Zhouyi's pitch-black eyes head-on. Liang Zhouyi's gaze passed right through her and looked behind her. For no reason, she read a kind of lingering attachment in it, which startled her into glancing back over her shoulder. There was nothing there. It could not be a feeling directed at her, could it? Although Liang Zhouyi was indeed an outstanding woman, she herself was very straight.

Liang Zhouyi had not only failed to find the answer she wanted, things had even begun to develop in the worst direction. If Xiang Qianqian had merely forgotten some things, Chen Xinluo now did not remember Chu He at all. Even Chu He's home had disappeared in a strange way.

Liang Zhouyi could hardly breathe. She had clearly been searching for proof that Chu He existed, yet it felt as if she were witnessing her disappearance step by step in another form.

"So, you still want to go find Chu Ze?" Chu He's voice was hollow. "Do you still not understand? Very soon everyone will forget me. My traces will vanish from this world forever."

Liang Zhouyi clenched her fists. She deliberately tried to pretend she had not heard, but Chu He kept speaking.

"Liang Zhouyi, accept fate. I never belonged to this world to begin with. You cannot keep me."

"Then what do you want me to do? Watch you disappear before my eyes? Is this supposed to be my fate? Who decided that?" Liang Zhouyi turned sharply, her gaze heavy. Her chest heaved violently as she gritted her teeth. "What if I insist on keeping you?"

"I will die."

Chu He uttered those three words lightly, and made the expression on Liang Zhouyi's face crack inch by inch.

Chu He was not joking. She had actually asked the System long ago what would happen if she insisted on staying.

The System's explanation to her had been very objective. It said that her soul and Liang Zhouyi's were essentially the same, like a shattered bottle. The closer they got, the more they would gradually fit together. Their souls shared a common nature. If she tried to force herself to stay, in this world that belonged to Liang Zhouyi, she would slowly be affected. Just as the System had said at the beginning, at first only her fortune would gradually be transferred, and later it would be her lifespan, until she vanished completely. Her soul would be absorbed like fertilizer.

Let her think how she had answered then. Oh, she had said that sounded like a rather good place to end up.

"Are you... threatening me now?" Liang Zhouyi's tone carried a hint of sarcasm. She looked haggard, far worse than the numb state Chu He had first found her in. She looked as if she might collapse at any moment. She turned her face away from Chu He and said with feigned indifference, "It does not matter. Then I will go with you."

"Liang Zhouyi!" Chu He finally lost her composure and flared up. She could not hold back the tears in her eyes, and her voice even carried a sob. "I spent so much time and so much energy on you not so you could throw yourself away like this. What are you saying now? Say it again if you dare!"

Liang Zhouyi did not dare, because she knew Chu He was truly angry. She sniffled and softened her tone: "Then teach me, or tell me what you want me to do."

"Liang Zhouyi." Chu He suddenly took a step forward. She moved close to Liang Zhouyi, her eyes dark, like a deep pool with no visible bottom. "Then trust me, and learn to accept reality, to forget me, okay?"

In this moment, Liang Zhouyi seemed to read something in her tone. Chu He's demeanor was too calm, as if she had accepted reality with ease. That state of affairs was actually a little eerie. Sensing something was wrong, Liang Zhouyi asked tentatively: "Should I trust you?"

"Of course." Chu He's amber eyes were still full of confidence. Her tone was utterly certain. Her hand inside her sleeve squeezed Liang Zhouyi's hand, drawing a circle in her palm with her fingertip.

Liang Zhouyi turned her hand over and gripped hers, a flicker of deep thought passing through her eyes. Her movement stalled for an instant, then she snapped angrily: "What right do you have to tell me to forget you? That belongs to me!"

She gripped Chu He's wrist hard, smooth skin pressed fully against her palm. Chu He's wrist bone jutted out and dug into her hand a little, yet Liang Zhouyi increased her force until a clear red mark appeared on Chu He's arm before she flung it away. A coldness rose at the corner of her lips: "Chu He, do not make me hate you."

Chu He seemed dazed by being thrown off, unable to steady herself for a moment as she stumbled back two steps. She watched Liang Zhouyi stride forward. Probably halfway there, seeing that she had not followed, Liang Zhouyi turned back and looked at her coldly. Chu He rubbed her wrist and still quickened her pace to catch up. This person, really.

Only when she saw Chu He catch up did Liang Zhouyi call Chu Ze using the number Chen Xinluo had given her. The first call did not go through. Not long after, Chu Ze called back.

"Hello, who is this?"

"Hello, I am Liang Zhouyi, a friend of Chen Xinluo. Do you have time to meet and talk?" Liang Zhouyi got straight to the point, not wanting to waste any time.

Chu Ze seemed to doubt his own ears, as if he could not understand why Chen Xinluo would give his private number to a strange woman. So he was silent for a few seconds before saying politely: "Miss Liang, may I ask what this is about? I do not believe I know you."

"Then do you know Chu He?" Liang Zhouyi still chose to ask the question.

"Where did you hear that name?" Chu Ze's voice seemed to contain shards of ice, carrying a heavy chill. "Let us meet."

Liang Zhouyi: "Alright."

After hanging up, she quickly sent the address over, but her expression was not at all happy. Chu Ze had said "that name" rather than "that person," which showed he did not know Chu He either.

Less than a day had passed from when she saw Xiang Qianqian to when she saw Chen Xinluo, yet Chu He's existence in their memories had already changed. If things continued to develop at this speed, would she herself soon forget Chu He as well?

Perhaps at some moment she too would suddenly no longer remember Chu He. That possibility sent a chill through her. She patted her head hard, desperately trying to recall whether she had already forgotten something very important.

Previous Table of Contents Next